just a bunch of letters and words.
play me.
A Small Flame by LOONY.
Flock by LOONY.
Overnight by LOONY.
basically the whole Part I - EP.
Do better
“I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.” - Issa
“Me too girl, you better than this.” - Issa
liberatory relationships.
“My greatest joys and my greatest pains come from other people.” - Lalah Delia
what does liberation look like in relationship? (both platonic or romantic) Have been thinking about this a lot in the past few months. Especially because those of us who aspire for collective liberation think of it as something utopian-esque in nature, as aspirational. Something we approach but aren’t yet, in. (Not realizing there is liberation on the journey towards liberation. It is the means and the end.) And I’d like to think that at the micro-level, there are ways we remove oppression from our interpersonal relationships with other humans beings. (Since relationships are something I can, to an extent, control.) And so I reached out and talked to some friends (and read and dug into my own history with relationships) and the result of those convos is below. what does liberation in relationship look like?
radical honesty (open and consistent channels of communication)
vulnerability
abolish the idea of controlling and dominating another person (which can be instinctual in relationships)
wholeness before relationship that prevents codependency (the belief that I am whole with or without this person); sense of purpose unattached to the person or relationship.
personal commitment to love (the will to extend oneself for the purpose of hurting one’s own or another’s spiritual growth) and self-actualization
commitment to nonviolence (see Healing Resistance by Kazu Haga)
Another thing that came up that I love is the mindset of “us vs. the problem”, instead of “you vs. me.”
Idk, i’ll probably be developing this theory (WE LOVE THEORY) on liberatory relationships for the rest of my life. applying what works and learning from what doesn’t.
Black body, earth
Maybe now I understand why I feel so drawn to the Earth, so protective of it. That, in many ways, I see parallels in the way black bodies and the environment have been exploited at the hands of white supremacy and capitalism. An unfortunate trauma we have in common.
a feeling.
Ever get this euphoric feeling that you’re about to embark on something that has the potential to drastically change/transform your life?
So, i’m in the midst of that right now. Just started reading Healing Resistance: A Radically Different Response to Harm by Kazu Haga and I cannot put it down. (A joyful feeling after trudging through several books.) I believe in nonviolence. But before starting this book was unaware of the totality of what it means to embody nonviolence at its core.
Haga says, “...a commitment to nonviolence is a commitment to restoring relationships and building Beloved Community: a world where all people understand our interconnectedness, and a world where -- as stated in the Kingian Nonviolence training curriculum - “all people have achieved their full human potential.”
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT NONVIOLENCE. And am now excited to make a life commitment towards embodying the principles and steps of nonviolence laid out in the book. And spending more time thinking about the answers to these questions:
In what ways am I harming + committing violence onto others? In what ways, physically or emotionally, am I harming myself? Through repeated patterns, habits, and actions that don’t serve to heal me? How can we instead approach conflict as a way to deepen relationship?
plus, other quotes.
“It is about asking for a commitment to purify ourselves of the violence in our own hearts: the violence of hatred and resentment; the violence of apathy and hopelessness; the violence of unhealed traumas accumulated over our lives that have been passed down from multiple generations; and the violence of the ways in which we’ve internalized capitalism, colonialism, white supremacy, patriarchy, and any number of forces that kept us from being whole. Step three asks for a commitment to healing our own souls, and that is the work of lifetimes.”
“Hurt people hurt people, and hurting people hurts. Healed people heal people, and healing people heals.”
“You are my other self.”
“Conflict is the spirit of the relationship asking itself to deepen.”
“All of our experiences, traumas, and life lessons are influenced by countless people we will never know. If our traumas are interconnected and interdependent, then so must be our healing and liberation.”
dreams.
to make everyone fall in love with organizing as much as I love organizing.
to have my OWN SPOT in a year. reaching my peak, living at home. (how does one make thousands of dollars come out of thin air? legally.)
to be love and be in love... with someone as passionate and curious and dynamic as i aspire to be.
liberation. for the world and for myself in this lifetime.
ronca freestyle
Celebration.
Every Friday, at work we have celebration calls and get to share one thing we want to celebrate about ourselves and one thing we want to celebrate about someone else. SO with that.
I have dreamed of creating a climate organizing space for BIPOC folks. (and in the long-term would love to create a retreat space + organizing school) And brought that to life this past summer with a 3-week organizing school where on any given day, somewhere between 57 and 25 people came together to talk, build community, learn about covid/climate, green new deal and sunrise. and I just wanna share a pic and video that made me cry. that’s it, that is all.
And I want to celebrate this GROUP OF ROCKSTAR high schoolers who are putting on a Sunrise High School Summit this weekend. Ahhhh life and the fight can be draining, but the high schoolers organizing gives me so so much hope. Much love to ya’ll.
Grateful.
Palmisano Park.
the people who built my bike so that i could ride it around.weeeee
LAKE FREAKING MICHIGAN.
louisville lawns and houses; they really are so beautiful
every 1:1.
for the days when i call Medici and they have the bag of mini chocolate cookies. (⅛ call success rate)
for the meeting in the ether zoom music experience :)
Jeremy and our public narrative turned random convos (Hi Jeremy!)
all my weekly and monthly facetime friends. i looove you
fuck.
the police. ppl who don’t text back. indoor seating. ppl going a gazillion mph on the dan ryan. professionalism. corona.
thing i wanna create that idk if I’ll create… but hope to create.
a podcaaast.
a short film on organizing.
a post every week on this thing... that’s not a blog.
With distance…
Comes great perspective.
July has been a really hard month for me. really hard. and.
I nearly reached a point where the weight of organizing, work, or really anything became too heavy for my little soul to carry. Exhausted. Confused. Stuck in what felt like juggling several complex issues that I did not have the brainpower or energy to move through.
As a result of this complete dejection, I’d start fantasizing about a much simpler life. One where my day is spent tending to my garden. (Which I absolutely do not do right now.) Sitting out on my dream wrap around porch devouring the infinite books at my disposal. Eating chocolate chip cookies cause I love chocolate chip cookies. And though I’d be LESS FUCKING STRESSED in this little life, it is just that… a fantasy. And like all the fantasies I have in my head, they don’t come to life and probably shouldn’t. Because having had two weeks away, from organizing and movements and work and Sunrise, I’ve been reminded of the love and joy and community that I get from this work.
There’s this quote mentioned in Astrophysics for People in a Hurry about quarks, (a subatomic particle, though unlike protons and electrons, have fractional charges that come in thirds… and this is too much information) forces and separation.
“In fact, the force that keeps two (or more) of them together actually grows stronger the more you separate them -- as if they were attached by some sort of subnuclear rubber band.” In essence, bonds that actually grow stronger the further two things are away from each other. While getting away and resting, I’ve been drawn back to the reason why I spend all my time doing this work in the first place; because I truly love it and can’t see myself doing anything else in this moment. And am also reminded that I need to find more sustainable ways to do this for the long haul. Issa marathon not a sprint.
Learnings.
Know who you are. Otherwise, ppl will say the most awful things and you just might believe it.
ppl on twitter are evil.
tell ppl how you feel. and then get over it if it doesn’t work out. there are plenty of fish in the sea. (too bad i like sharks)
stop valorizing strength; we also learn and grow in times of great weakness. EMBRACE WEAKNESS.
Healing is the work of a lifetime.
if you could sit for eight hours and talk with anyone, who would it be?
THIS MAN, Logic.
just a little fun mockery.
happy to announce that this fall, I’ll be attending… therapy, defeating Donald Trump, and drinking 12 cups of water a day. jajajjahaaahah.
that’s how i’m doing.
